Endings are significant, and I think none more so than the end to this academic year. We have the ending of an era as our Principal, Jennie Best, now leaves us after many years of being part of the Brompton Academy (BA) family. We also say goodbye to Philip Storey, who was the CEO of our Trust. Year 11 have now left, and the Academy feels like a very different place. It is a significant time of change for Brompton Academy.
Beginnings. Schools know how important it is to ensure that students get off to a good start, encouraged and motivated to feel positive about new beginnings. Beginnings are often welcomed and celebrated. It is often the case that endings are not given quite the same amount of attention but endings can be just as pivotal and important to us. If ignored or left unaddressed, endings can cause significant problems.
Endings signify change and with change comes uncertainty and sometimes anxiety. In looking at endings in this way, it makes sense why we wouldn’t choose to engage with them so easily, but in truth we find that endings always do matter. Endings can give us closure and allow us to move on to new beginnings. When endings are left unaddressed, the feelings of worry and anxiety can develop and maybe weigh heavy on our minds. We can live with a sense of sadness and regret.
I wanted to share that in my role as a student counsellor; I feel it is important that young people are given access to knowing about endings. We might think we are protecting our young people from moments of sadness and worry but we are denying them the opportunity to experience, learn, and grow. An example might be where a young person isn’t told about another person who might be dying until the last moment. They weren’t allowed to go to the funeral because the adults thought it was kinder that way. Sharing information with young people about endings means we are helping to prepare our young people for other significant endings that might happen at a later date.
Personally, I think it always matters. We believe we’re sparing young people when really we’re sparing ourselves. Of course, we all have strong feelings about endings and other changes in our lives. Sometimes endings can be upsetting and alarming. They can sometimes make us angry, and they can also make us sad. Sometimes they can fill us with despair but it seems that often, we’d rather know.
The endings we experience as young people allow us to prepare for endings later on in life. A bad experience of an ending might bring us to the place where we might want to avoid other endings. A good experience (knowing exactly what’s happening and having time to get used to it) will make other endings in life seem less daunting and much more possible. When young people who are leaving school attempt to fudge our counselling ending by saying, “Well, we’ll see each other around!”, I say, “No, we won’t see each other around but we’ll remember each other.” That seems more meaningful.
Andrew Tilley MBACP.
This article includes an excerpt from www.nickluxmoore.org.uk
